A Conversation With Dr. Danielle Malano

Announcing a new Free Masterclass Soon!

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Hello, hello. Welcome to Beyond ADHD, a Physician's Perspective. I am Dr. Deanna Meha Marm. I'm a family medicine physician practicing in rural Texas. I used to be hindered by my adhd, but I now see it as a gift that helps me show up as the person I was always meant to be. Both in my work and in my personal life.

In the past two years, I've come to realize, That unlearning some of my beliefs and some of my habits were just as important as learning the new set of skills.

I am so excited today. I have an amazing friend here and I can't wait

to hear all her story

in the full totality, or whatever. She feels like Sherry. Uh, I have Dr. Danielle Milano Milano. She, she tried to help me earlier, but you know, It's she, we forget . And, uh, she's a full time, um, family medicine physician and of course she's an amazing wife and a mother, and she is a, she's a coach.

I'm gonna miss. Pronounced, but she cooks amazing food. Okay. Culinary Coach . There, it's, And so anyways, I wanna hear about her story and she's gonna walk us through how she found out she had. Okay. Thank you.

Dr. Danielle Malano: It is so exciting to be here and I'm just such a big fan of yours. I'm really honored to be able to share the space with you.

Thank you so much. So I, at the ripe old age of 43 years old, just found out I have ADHD and . Uh, it was a long time coming and I never really knew that this is what it was, but I always knew, I felt like. Something was wrong with me. You know, I was bright, I got straight A's in grade school. Um, I had a very structured, you know, childhood.

My parents were super strict. All I was allowed to do was, you know, homework and that was it, . And then when I got into college and was pre-med, it got more stressful and I found myself just, you know, falling asleep, studying or procrastinating or, you know, cramming the night before and, you know, was. The grace of God was able to get into medical school, and I went from California to Chicago, far away from home, and being away again.

That was just another big struggle for me. I thought everyone else was smarter than I was and I didn't feel like I belonged, and I was so afraid of asking for help because then everyone would figure out that I don't belong there. But again, because of that fear, Decided I would just try harder, study harder, work harder, you know, And you know, it got me to where I wanted to be.

I landed my first choice for my family medicine residency, and then I became a lowly intern all over again, just starting over in a new place in California, back at home. And again, I was struggling a lot. Um, so I again studied harder, worked harder. At a cost, right, Of just this feeling that I had in my chest and in my brain and like tingling all over my body, like constantly in order to succeed and perform and, you know, get, you know, what I needed to get done and take good care of my patients.

So, um, you know, I continued to perform like I, I thought at like a high level. Um, you know, when I got married and had kids, you know, we threw in another human being and then two other additional human beings into the mix where, um, you know, my tools that I had in place to keep me in line or just thrown out the window,

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: I know the feeling . I know, right? It's not

Dr. Danielle Malano: just me anymore, you know? So I remember getting into an argument with my husband at some point. This was before we had kids. I don't know, it was something about something silly, maybe. You know, things weren't in place or things were a mess. And I totally married my opposite.

I'm type A, he's type B, super relaxed and chill. And I was just getting so upset. And then at one point he was like, Dee, you didn't marry. And then I was like, Oh, light bulb. You're right. I did not marry me. And if I did, I probably wouldn't work out because, um, I, you know, need to find someone that balances me.

And thank goodness that both of my boys have two loving parents who show their love in very different ways, and they can get the best of both. And so, you know, My boys started school and my young, my oldest one was doing great. He was getting straight ass. I was like, Wow, this is great. Let's, you know, have another one,

You know? And

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: so kid number two came along.

Dr. Danielle Malano: Oh my goodness. A little bit different, right? They're two completely different human beings, . And we're not supposed to compare, but we still do. Yeah. Right. And I noticed, you know, TK and, uh, kinder, the teachers would mention things that he would, you know, have these outbursts or be more active.

He's, I definitely thought he was more of an extrovert than my oldest one. And, you know, they're different. They're kids, you know. So, but in the back of my head, I was like, Okay, should I be worried? When should I be worried about, you know, possibility of adhd? And I reached out to the teachers starting in first.

When she had sent an email, this was like probably post pandemic, so I knew there was gonna be a transition coming back into school in person. So when I put the feelers out about, Hey, should I get my kid evaluated? She's like, No, let's wait. Let's, you know, put these processes in place to help and focus.

And I said, Okay. Things went well for a while and then they didn't. So it would be this back and forth. And then finally after multiple back and forth, it was almost towards the end of, um, the year that I. You know, hey, should, you know, should I get him evaluated? Just say the word and I'm all in. I'm all for, you know, giving him all the opportunities to succeed.

No answer. And so I just went, took it upon myself. Got ahold of our pediatrician and she got the evaluation. And of course there's a waiting process. And we went through that process. We got the appointment and we filled out some paperwork. The teacher filled out some paperwork and then we finally had the meeting with the behavioral pediatrician.

And during that interview I was with Johnny and they have to take the history right of both of the parents, um, and the history of the child and in gathering my personal history. Mid-sentence. I was like, Uh, do you think I should get evaluated ? And he is like, Yes. Without hesitation. Yes, yes you should . And he said, Oftentimes we diagnose ADHD late, especially in women because they're more sometimes of the inattentive type, but.

When you were diagnosed late, um, maybe in adulthood. It's often because of a couple of reasons. Number one, if you're very bright, that could mask it, or number two, you had a lot of structure in place in childhood that again, masked the adhd. And he said, Honestly, I think you had the ADHD spanked out of you, because that was the form of discipline that I got.

You know, my dad. Mm-hmm. , another light bulb went off. And so I was like, Okay, let you know if I am going to give my son the best chances to be successful in school and his, in his relationships and in life. Like, why don't I do the same for me no matter how late? Right. Right. Um, I think at some point in our relationship, my husband said, you know, why don't you just, you know, go on medication on for like depression or anxiety or something.

And I'm like, in my head I'm like, You know, I honestly, I don't necessarily think I'm depressed. You know, maybe like, there's definitely an element of anxiety there, but, um, I wanna know, I wanna know if this is plain old, you know, anxiety and or is this anxiety stemming from something else? And if it is, I wanna make sure that I'm treating the right thing or I'm addressing the right thing.

So, sorry, my alarm's going off, so. I called my primary doctor and I got an intake visit with, um, one of the, um, uh, one of the, um, therapists from our psychiatry department. We did like a preliminary intake, and then she sent me paperwork, and again, because of the pandemic. We, it was hard to do in person evaluations, and so she sent me like a four page thing to fill out.

I had to have my husband fill it out, and then I had to find a friend who knew me from when I was in first grade to also fill it out, wait for them to turn all of that in, submit all of that paperwork, and then wait for someone to eventually review those and then get back to me. They got back to me and they told me that my test was negative, and

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: what I kind of knew.

Coming on because again,

Dr. Danielle Malano: I function at, I feel like I function at a certain level, and I think a lot of women diagnosed late in ADHD have this issue too. They function at a certain level. No one else sees the stress that they feel inside. Yeah. So when she told me that my initial testing was negative, she offered me an option to do the objective testing with the psychologist.

And I said, Yes, of course. Absolutely. So I made that appointment. I went in, I saw the psychologist I had to conduct. Uh, she conducted. Computer test, which was 14 minutes. I forgot the name of it, but it was like the longest 14 minutes of my life. . You had to stare at a computer screen and press the space bar every time you saw a letter pop up on the screen except for the letter X.

And so I was trying to focus and concentrate. It would go at different speeds and then there would be a lull and then it would speed up again and I was just, it was hard . So at the end of the test, she reviewed it, she scored it, and she. Congratulations on getting this far with undiagnosed adhd, I almost burst into tears.

Like it was just so validating. So much of my life made so much more sense. I like wanted to tell everybody in the world . Yeah, this is, this is why I am me. Like people are like, Oh my gosh. You do all the cooking. You, you're a doctor, you're a mom. Like you're, you're so fit. You do all the exercise, you make yummy things and dinner and treats and all the things.

They're like, How do you do it? I'm like, I don't know. I love doing all the things, you know, And I do do, I do love doing all the things, but you know, sometimes that comes at a cost, you know, and no one sees

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: that. I feel like,

Dr. Danielle Malano: and I think, you know, it's finally time for people to know. . No matter how well you think somebody is doing, you never know the struggle that they may be going through.

So yeah, and I

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: think that's such an important point that that's why I'm tossing you right there, because just like you said, nobody knows at what cost, because you pointed out so many different nuggets there of the facts that. You're gonna work your ass off for something that you feel aligns with you, whether it's to become a doctor, whether it's

Dr. Danielle Malano: to be a good mom,

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: whether it's whatever it is that fuels you, you're going to pour your soul into it.

And. We don't want to know other people that are, uh, that were kind of struggling. So we're kind of gonna mask, like, like I would stay up late to do some charting for me. Like, you know, 20, 30 hours. I didn't want anybody to know how hard it was working because, you know, I, I thought it was the, what I needed to do to

Dr. Danielle Malano: be able to have the privilege to,

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: to do that.

Right. And like you said, the question you, you, you, or the, the common stuff, like, they're gonna find out I don't belong here. Like, they're gonna find out. And so you have that. Little fear of them finding out, you know, of course we belong in the room. You were always meant to be there, but your brain, because you're so multi-passionate, it looks like a hot mess to other people.

But it makes total sense to you. And, and like you said, like maybe those people didn't realize, you just magically got shit done. They didn't realize that it took. 10 times as much. Like maybe it took you two hours to do that project and your friend took her five minutes and you didn't think anything of it because you first turned into project, so it wasn't a big deal.

And so that's so good that you decided to get the next thing. Even though they told you, No, this is negative. You're like, Well, is there any other things to find out? Right? Like to get the next step. Because most of us stopped there, we're like, No, they already said it's, That's it. Right. But you knew inside that you were doing these

Dr. Danielle Malano: things and.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: And yeah, exactly. Like they said, Congratulations, you got this bar. Now let's get better systems in. Cause that's tir ass yeah's t I'm tired. Can I, can I still be like me? Can I

Dr. Danielle Malano: still be my amazing self that loves to do all of the things and like if feel less of that internal angst that just. Tortures me sometimes.

Um, and I think, you know, people don't get that. When I was sharing with some of my colleagues, like, you know, Yeah, I'm getting evaluated. We're gonna see what happens. And they're like, You don't need medication. Like, look at you, you're, you're like, you finish all your charts on time. You don't do any of your charts at home.

You teach other people how to do their charts. Like you, you know, you exercise during lunch, like you're not doing your charts. What's, you know, you, you don't, you don't need it is what, you know, you don't need your, because

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: you're exercising, that's why you're getting your shit done. .

Dr. Danielle Malano: Yes. Right. That's like, it's my, one of my outlets to get out my, you know, nervous energy so that I can, you know, Regroup and get back on it and you know, do the thing, get my stuff done, and stay.

And you

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: might have been motivating yourself by telling yourself, do it right. Otherwise they're gonna find out. So it was not a healthy way that you were doing it per se, and like you said, your anxiety was through the roof and you were trying

Dr. Danielle Malano: to mask it, right? Mm-hmm. . Absolutely. So, you know, don't get me wrong, I feel amazing after I work out , but you know, there's, you know, there's more than just one reason people exercise, right?

And so, you know, when you hear from others, especially your peers or your family or your colleagues or your friends that, Oh, you don't need help, that's just not a helpful, a helpful comment. So what I would say to people who hear from others, May share with them that they're struggling or they have X, Y, or Z diagnosis.

Um, it's not always necessarily helpful for you to say, Oh, but you look great. Oh, but you look fine. Oh, but you don't need help, because it dismisses their suffering.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah, and that's, I call it the invisible. Invisible disability, right? Because, Oh yeah. I'm not gonna say that it's ing because now, I mean, it can be, It can get us into trouble, of course, for sure, but it can also be a superpower.

But in order for it to become a superpower, you have to first own the diagnosis and then learn about it and be curious. But in order for all that to happen, you need to feel confident enough in your. To know that you're worth the investment, whether it means medication or coaching or therapy or, or all of your exercise or all of the above.

Right. And like you said, like we would never tell a diabetic. Um, You don't need insulin. I mean, your A1C is at 12, but you know, you don't need that. Like why can't you just get over it? Right. Why? Why did you ? So it's like the invisible disability because nobody can see how hard you're struggling. They don't see a broken leg there, they don't see a broken nose that is bleeding.

They don't, you know, and again, like you said, some of those words can be almost traumatic to us. Right. They're not validating how you're feeling and they're, they're almost making you feel like whatever you're feeling, you shouldn't be feeling that because you look great, you look amazing. Like, what? What else do you need?

Like,

Dr. Danielle Malano: exactly. Like, I don't deserve help , you know, And I try to instill that in my son too, because when he was initially diagnosed with, I thought, honestly, That he was gonna get like a soft diagnosis, maybe if that, And then when the physician said, Okay, so he's got severe combined adhd, and then with a little bit of anxiety, I'm like, What?

I was, you know, I wasn't expecting that and no, at such a young age when he thought that, you know, the ADHD was already, you know, causing some anxiety in him, I just, I really wanted to make sure. You know, address that. And so I dove deep like you had recommended. Thank you so much for recommending ADHD 2.0.

I read it on Audible on all of my commutes, finished in, and then, you know, I let Johnny know that this is your superpower. You know, he's so creative. He's such an artist. He has so much fun. He's super popular at school. Everyone loves him. He's so funny. And I remind him that, you know, he's got like what Dr.

Hallal describes as a Ferrari motor for a brain with bicycle brakes. And he really took to that and now all of a sudden he's reading this, these books, um, Dog Man, and it's kind of a comic style book. And I had no idea that it's also the same author that wrote Captain Underpants, who apparently has Ethan ADHD and dyslexia.

So they really love reading that and I'm just really grateful that they have those resources and can see. And now Johnny's just enjoying reading so much more. His grades are improving now that he's getting the treatment and, and services that he needs. Yeah, and,

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: and like what an amazing thing that it was, that you were open to finding a better way for your son.

Right. And in doing. Like you said, you deserve the same thing cuz hopefully you're like my grandma. I keep saying this line over and over who lives to be 93. One of 'em was, the other one was 90. So like you still have like 50 years of your life going forward, which could be what if that could be like the next best face?

Like you thought that whatever you had done was amazing, but like you had no idea, right? Like right. And. So, yeah. So that's so cool that you were able to use that and model and support him and continue to advocate for him because like you said, you kept asking the teachers over and over like, Hey, are you sure?

Are you sure? Are you sure? And that's the thing with adhd, right? That it's not just like, School, It's at school and at the playground and at home and at the birthday party. And it's everywhere, right? Everywhere. And so you just make sure that you are supporting your kids the best that you can and providing them the resources the best that you can.

And when you look back like. I don't know how, if you can tell your family who has adhd, but Oh yeah. , because like, we didn't know, I thought that was just north because everybody, like was doing the same thing, right? Mm-hmm. and so, So now tell me about this like coaching thing that you're doing that's really cool.

Oh yeah.

Dr. Danielle Malano: So, you know, when I was deciding at some point in my life, you know, I think it was right around the pandemic in March-ish, 2020, I decided, okay, am I gonna go to therapy? Or, you know, am I gonna try this life coaching that I, that I had heard about? Online and, um, I ended up deciding to go with life coaching and that's where I got connected with so many other like-minded, like-minded women, including yourself, um, who were going through a lot of the same things I was going through and I had no idea.

I just felt so alone before I joined empowering women positions and seeing other women physicians. Share their stories and then thrive after whatever it is that they're going through and continue to change and progress and dream and improve and then struggle still. It was just so inspiring and I, and I think that really.

Fueled, you know, another passion in me, like I already enjoyed cooking, you know, and I already shared some of this stuff on the internet, on my Instagram account. It's, I have this, I think I said out loud on one of the groups, like, I wanna have a cooking show. And somebody told me like, You already have a cooking show.

It just happens to live on Instagram. And the way that was frame. Borrowing that thought and looking at that way, I'm like, You're right. I do have a cookie show and it lives on Instagram. And so because I thought that instead of, Oh, I just have this little thing on Instagram. I started posting more, I started getting more connections and then, um, I was reached out to by Dr.

Monte Mantravadi, who is the creator of Ahimsa, the world's first colorful stainless steel table war for kids, and I was their first physician ambassador. I made some reels for them. We are continuing in collaboration. I was a representative for them at the AAP conference in Anaheim last month. It was so much fun.

And so not only did I connect with her, uh, because I started posting more and, uh, I was reach out to also by Cutco the knives that I love and used almost, you know, every day. And I'm, you know, Kind of like an ambassador for them as well. And just making all of these connections is so much fun. And you know, the next step is, you know, to work on building a website.

And I was trying to decide, okay, you know, do should I get certified in lifestyle medicine or should I get certified in culinary medicine? And, you know, those things definitely, um, are so valuable that I was just getting lost in where I should go or what I should do. And it end, I ended up choosing, uh, culinary coaching.

Because, um, it was more accessible for me at the time, and I went through that process and that program, and I finished literally just this year. And now I can say I'm a culinary coach and, um, include that when I share all of the delicious things that I share online, whether it's on Instagram or on my future website or maybe in my future courses.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: That's so amazing, right? Like when you start to borrow other people. Thoughts. Like you were already a chef and you were already having your show and you didn't even realize that. Right. And but it's, so again, it goes back to our human connect connections and understanding that words matter and thoughts matter, and feelings matter.

And even though we don't want to believe that, I mean, they do. And realizing that when you're in alignment, like when you knew that this is what, what fuel you like, you were able to take in, continue those steps, that that then opened up the opportunity for bigger things for you to be able to inspire and help.

Not just other physicians, everybody else on Instagram, like how appreci is that? And so, so what is your favorite things of like cooking or teaching people? Like what is your favorite things

Dr. Danielle Malano: you like to do? Yeah, so one of the best things that I enjoy sharing, um, that I learned in my Culinary coach, um, courses, you know, Something that I already did, but I just didn't necessarily have a name for, um, is batch cooking.

And batch cooking is a way to, you know, make a big portion of something that you will either use either the next day or save and, you know, freeze for later on. Um, so that it will save you time the next time you know that dish comes around. And so I show examples of that. Instagram and then a lot of other things that I share is, you know, I definitely have a sweet tooth, I'm not gonna lie, but because I'm also really mindful about what I put into my body, I went about trying to find different ways to modify and have substitutes for different things that I would put in my treats or my, um, pastries or, you know, in desserts substituting maybe coconut sugar or apple sauce for oil and or just cutting the sugar in half.

Like you can just start. Cutting the sugar either by, you know, 25%, 60%, 50%, whatever it is. Honestly, you will not know the difference. It's still gonna be delicious. It's still gonna be sweet. And then the more you do that, the more your taste buds will change. And then recognize how delicious food already is without all of the other processed stuff, and you can just continue on in your journey of being as healthy.

You want to be in terms of your own particular goals? I don't like, my Instagram is not like a weight loss, um, um, feed or a, you know, or, or an obesity feed or anything like that. I'm just, it's more of a wellness, like this is what you can do. These are some options that you can take in order to be, Take that one.

To be a healthier

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: you. Yeah. So you're just, uh, facilitating the process for us to be mindful and still have a cake and eat it too, right, ? Absolutely. Absolutely. So tell me, uh, what ADHD hacks have you been able to, like, lean into or what have, have you noticed that now that you implemented some of these, you're like, Oh, thank God.

Mm-hmm. ,

Dr. Danielle Malano: So for. And, and I remember this, you know, going back into residency, I, I'm a list person. If it's not front and center in front of my face, I'm not gonna see it. So I notice that if I make a list on paper, it works better than if it's a list on my phone, because if it's a list on my phone that, that I get a popup about, I'll just swipe it away.

I'll swipe it away, swipe it away. Um, for most things, I mean, there are some things that I do put, like a big exclamation point red mark on that, that do live on my phone. Day to day, if I make a list on a piece of paper in front of my face, when I wake up in the morning before I do any of the things, I am able to be a lot more productive.

So that's one of the things that I, you know, I do. And I, I noticed that, you know, once I got the diagnosis and talked about, you know, the different treatment options, you know, there's medications, there's therapy. I went for both, you know, because why not? You know? Um, and then when I first started and I told my husband, Um, he kinda made a wrinkly face.

Like, he's like, Oh, okay, is this really gonna work? Or what? And then he did say, he's like, You know what, you do seem a lot more chill during dinner because sometimes I'm like stressed out and you know, the kids maybe not, you know, be eating enough or well, and, um, or they're not putting away the dishes. And he, he said, Yeah, you look a lot more chill.

And then after that I, I went to go do some laundry and I noticed that while I was folding my laundry, I noticed that in my body, I had such less anxiety that I usually have in doing such a mundane task. Like I hate folding laundry . And so I noticed that that wasn't there as much. And then after that, I went to go, like, make some edits and post something on Instagram.

And while I'm doing my edits, I, I usually feel like palpitations in my heart. Like, Oh my gosh, this isn't right, this isn't good. Like, how am I gonna put this together? How long is it gonna take me to do? And I didn't have those racing thoughts as as much, right? It's, I just noticed that. I'm like, Oh, this is nice.

And so, because a lot of that was diminished, I'm able to post more. I'm able to do more. I'm able to get more stuff done because all of that background anxiety is, is a little. Faded. I mean, it's still there, , right? Um, you know, and I, you know, like I literally just got started on treatment about a month ago, but I do notice the changes and I'm just so, so grateful.

You know, when I was first deciding should I go for life coaching or should I go to therapy? I started with life coaching. You know, you start by starting. So I started there and then through that, Learn to borrow the thought that it doesn't have to be, and, or it could be and right. I did the life coaching and I can do therapy and I could do, you know, medications, all of the above.

You know, we definitely, you know, advocate for any kind of self, um, you know, um, self-help behavior, um, for your own mental wellness, for your physical wellness, emotional wellness, all of the. Yeah, I, you know,

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: everything that you're saying, like I can relate to mine is the cookie. I'm not the best cook, but that's a limiting belief that I'm choosing to keep hold onto because I'm making my husband cook.

But, um, and seriousness, um, he calls me out all the time about that. Uh, but a seriousness. Because I had no awareness of how my adhd, like, I was kind of oblivious to it, like for, you know, 10 years because I got told like, you're gonna

Dr. Danielle Malano: outgrow it. Right? Or

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: like, you should know better, right? And so it was not until like I joined e wp, like all a sudden I'm telling everybody about it.

And, and it was because, Life coaching. I didn't even know what life coaching was, but I joined cuz of the, uh, it was gonna gimme credits. I needed to keep my license so I knew I had to kill two birds with one stone and it sounded kinda cruel.

Dr. Danielle Malano: Empowered women physicians, like, I wanna be empowered, right?

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: And so, So, yeah, I think that naturally we jump from one thing to another, but it's because we're seeking to try to understand ourselves.

Like that's what we're seeking and, and we know that there have to be a better way because just like you, I was listening to podcasts on my way home and back, like remember listening to podcasts, like this lab comes clean or something like that. Like I wanted to really. Out how to adult, you know, , like, I was like, why can't I kiss adult?

Like people are gonna be like, she's associate. Why can't she just do her laundry? Why can't, Huh. She do dishes. Right? Right. Or why does she have to keep doing her laundry like three times? Cause she forgot to dry it and now it's, and now she has to go Google like the vinegar thing or whatever. Right. And so, yeah, it, it's so funny that, that we don't realize that our brain and our self care, and I didn't even know what that word was.

We are our best investment. Like we can spend all this money on cars and purses and whatever, right? But if we like, and we can have it all and we can look at it and they look pretty, but we don't feel like just right because we don't feel right. And, and so again, it's in this therapy, it's in this coaching, it's in this medications and, and it's in this discussions like what we're having that.

We realize, okay, I'm not the only one. And you realize that some of the things that maybe are annoying to you or you keep swearing, you're not gonna do it ever again. Like it's not that you don't want to never do it again, but you realize that it's part of like your ness and it's part of your. What you thought is like a human like, I don't know, defect.

It's not a human defect, it's just part of your adhd. And again, I'm not saying that to excuse you, but it's for you to understand it. So then you're like, Okay, how can I then, and do I want to do it or can I delegate

Dr. Danielle Malano: this? Right. Absolutely. Yeah. And I found that I've also learned how to give myself a lot more grace.

I was, I was at Costco and literally like. Five minutes. Was about to walk off with someone else's cart, . And then I was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. And then five minutes later I went to grab an item, put it in my cart, and then the person's like, Excuse me, that's my cart . I'm like, Oh, that's probably, I know why that's happening.

Now I know why. .

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: I could've swear this was just right there. Why you keep doing it, . Why you do it now I know

Dr. Danielle Malano: why. Now I know. I have

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: an answer. Awesome. So, uh, what do you think you see yourself doing in the next, like, three to five years? For

Dr. Danielle Malano: fun? For fun, I already do a lot of things that are fun. You know, I, I, I travel the world.

Like my kids, you know, when they were born, everyone said that, you know, we would stop traveling or, or slow down because both my husband and I have the travel bug. I think. Travel bug is more pathologic than mine. However, we proved everyone wrong and as soon as they were born, my oldest one is almost 10.

We've been on a plane almost every month, you know, except for the pandemic. , You know, I think by the time he was seven or eight, he's been to 30 countries because we maximize every single day of vacation that we have per year. To the point where some people have asked if we work, and I'm like, Yeah, we work full time, you know?

But we use those vacations, They're like little mini retirements because we work so hard. And if we have like a little thing on a weekend here in one month and a little thing on a weekend here, in that. We can look forward to those things to help re-energize us, bring us back together, and that's kind of our together time, that's our family time.

You know, both of us work full time. My commute's an hour, so by the time I come home, I have, what, two or less than three hours left with my kids before they have to go to bed, , and they, um, I don't see them again until the morning when it's circus hour and we gotta shoot them off to school. So the time that we spend together and travel.

One of our, one of our big things that we do. Um, and then, you know, with my exercise, I, I make sure that I have time to do that. It's one of my. It's one of my must dos and I need to move every single day somehow. And whether it's at work, because I leave a pair of dumbbells there and a pair of jump ropes there or at home, um, you know, I, I will make it happen because it's that important to me.

And. Again, cooking is another creative outlet that I have, and so I just find joy in doing all those things. And then because I get to do all those things, I get to be a better physician to my par to my patients. I get to share with them what I cook or how I, you know, um, organize, you know, my day and how I get to get things done and, you know, just get to, um, have a better connection with them because I'm in a place where I get to be more.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah. And that's so important, right? Like not waiting until someday , but scheduling it on purpose. Not waiting to like, Oh, one day I'll make a memory. No, put it in there. Make it a memory, right? Like and that sense of play and adventure. It's refueling for some people and I would totally be on the plane with you, , my kid, you know, uh, when he was born.

Yeah. Same thing. I got told, uh, yeah, he had done eight trips by the age of one. Like, like, they're like, Why would you take a three month old to, I'm like, Well, why not? You know, absolutely. And yeah, they're like, Why would you take a six week old to go see the total eclipse? And I'm like, Well, why not? You know,

So it, it's just like you say, you play hard, you party hard. Right. Or you on purpose decide what is gonna be important to you, and which is family is so important. So it, it's, it's good to live the values that we say we, we value otherwise. Then we don't feel like we are aligned and that

Dr. Danielle Malano: leads to burnout really.

Yeah. And that's why, you know, I'm continuing, you know, working on this website and, um, maybe one day I'll have a course to help other people, you know, get healthy meals on their table without, you know, getting takeout all the time. And, you know, if. Um, cooking or cooking demonstrations can eventually be incorporated into my workplace.

That would be amazing too. You know, having these teaching kitchens is something that is exciting, um, for me. And if that's a possibility, I'm totally going that route Also. And you know, it's

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: a possibility, right? Anything with adhd, like we don't stay in no boxes, right? Like, we just invent and like think outside the box.

And again, if it, we might not know the how, but you know it's gonna happen, right? It's just a matter of time. I can't wait to, for you to send me the picture, like, Hey, guess what? And I'd be like, Of course. Of course. It was just a matter of time, right? It's in the. Uh, we just dunno when the day will get here, but it's in the mail.

I know, I know it will be. Okay. Awesome. So, as you know, uh, people with ADHD sometimes tune out. So if they just started paying attention like right this second, what would be the takeaway point that you would want them to have?

Dr. Danielle Malano: So, if you are curious or wonder if you have adhd, it's not gonna hurt to get evaluated and.

If you do have it, great. That is your superpower, and if you don't, great. Now you know what it's not. So let's go find out what else it could be so that you could still continue to be the best you. Thank you. That

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: is the best advice. You know, again, be all on you. You know yourself. Trust yourself, trust your intuition.

Be okay getting a second, third, fourth, fifth, whatever opinion you need because. Once you know, then you can establish what the next steps are, right? And meanwhile, keep doing fun things and make sure you put on the calendar outta sight, outta mind. So put it on the calendar and uh, Danielle, where can they find you on Instagram?

Cuz I'm pretty sure they want to.

Dr. Danielle Malano: Sure, yeah, you can buy me on Instagram at Eat Rome, Heal, Eat, because I love to eat and cook roam because I love to travel and heal because I'm also a physician. Say it again. Eat Rome. Heal. Awesome.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: So there you have it, and I'm pretty sure you could send her an instant message through there.

If you have a way to set up her show, hey, let us know. If you can facilitate anything or you want her to come speak, let us know. Right. So we're all here to, uh, uplift each other and together we are right. So I'm so glad you were here. It's such a pleasure to, uh, be able to feature physicians who are living and practicing medicine in their own terms and how fulfilling it can be.

Yes, sometimes our road can be rocky and it can show us lots of patients that we don't want to learn. But you know, it teaches resilience and it really teaches us to continue to live in

Dr. Danielle Malano: alignment with our values and you totally

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: embody that. So thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me. I'm

Dr. Danielle Malano: so excited for being here.

And thank you again for giving all of us a voice. Thank you so much.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: My. Thank you for spending your time with me. I really believe that time is your most valuable asset. Please subscribe to the podcast, share with your colleagues, and don't forget to check out my website@coach.com where you can find out about my upcoming coaching group classes, as well as free master classes and other exciting events that are happening.