Beyond ADHD A Physicians Perspective Ep 23 Dr. Grace Esan (Board Certified Pediatrician)

Dr. Grace Esan: I want to be able to give a voice to woman, a lady, a gentleman, a child who's not being diagnosed and does not know how to get to the next level so that their doctors are able to help them.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh:  Hi, welcome to Beyond ADHD, A Physician's Perspective podcast. I am your host, Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh. I'm a Family Medicine doc, with ADHD, practicing in a rural setting in Texas. I am a mother to two very energetic toddlers who are three and four years of age.

And in the past year, I have undergone radical transformation after discovering ADHD coaching, and life-coaching. For the past decade, my typical day consisted of having 300 charts backlog, a graveyard of unfinished projects, and a lack of time awareness. I didn't realize that I was not filling my own cup. I was running on fumes. The last year I figured out the secret; learn to stay in your lane. So now my mission is to help others develop systems that tap into their zone of genius. So they too can reclaim their personal lives back like I have.

So I am really excited today. I am talking to one of my friends, Dr. Grace Esan, she's a pediatrician in Evansville, Indiana. And she's Nigerian American who grew up in Legos, Nigeria. She received her medical degree from the college of medicine, University of Legos. She completed her pediatric resident trainee at the Brooks Le'Veon Hospital Center in Bronx New York City.

And she's a certified pediatrician. She specializes in the treatment of infants, children and adolescents at all stages of the growth development with the emphasis on ADHD, anxiety, depression, and oppositional defiant disorder. She's been in medical practice for over 20 years. Dr. Esan is happily married and she's the mother of two beautiful children and her pet chihuahua.

So please, please, please, everybody listen up to Dr. Esan. She's here to share everything. How are you doing today?

Dr. Grace Esan: I am very well. Thanks for having me.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: I am so excited. I am doing well myself. I just got back from a Disney vacation with my family. So I am still in the process of recovering and getting back to work.

You know how we were a little slow after those vacations. We were smart this time around because, we did Disney break Disney break instead of like all the way straight, like we've done in the past. So that was good. We need a break sometimes. All right. So I understand that, you were diagnosed with ADHD yourself.

Would you mind sharing with me the circumstances surrounding your diagnosis? Were you surprised at all?

Dr. Grace Esan: Actually, yes. I was quite surprised. It was, it was a self-diagnosis really, because I was evaluated a friend of an adult friend of mine who was having trouble. She's having lots of trouble at work.

Punctuality to work, timeliness to get projects done. And then now it was now extending into the home where she was forgetting to take the kids where she needed stick the kids too. So I got to an adult self reporting screen and I took it home to her and I had her feelings out and whilst I was feeling it out, I was just looking through the questions that was the first time I'd actually looked at the questions for an adult.

I'd done the Connor's, I've done the Vanderbilt for kids, but I've never actually looked at it on an adult scale. So I'm looking at this adult screen and I'm like, yes. Oh my gosh. That was so I had this aha moment. I'm like, oh my gosh. So after thinking about it for a few weeks and actually acknowledging the fact that yeah, most of those things are true and they're struggle for me.

Then I, went down and they said with my family physicians. For how to actually do a formal evaluation and come up with options for me.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Were you surprised, like you said you were surprised, but were you like when you looked at it, were you surprised in the sense that may maybe many people in your family behaved or acted or did certain things in a certain way. And so you just didn't think anything of it or what were you thinking? Like, were you one who was tardy or what, what was the things that like, kind of gave you that, oh, maybe there's something.

Dr. Grace Esan: Okay. So definitely tardiness is an issue because I, definitely suffer from time blindness.

 I started to do stuff and I totally, I have no concept of how long it takes to do anything things that I think should take five minutes, actually take an hour and things I should take an hour, actually, five minutes. So, punctuality was kind of a problem. The ability to actually be having a conversation with you while I'm actually listening to a conversation over there or doing two other things at the same time that just came naturally to me, , it wasn't anything that I thought.

So I really didn't think that I just thought it was me. I didn't think it was a medical diagnosis and stuff from there. And I did not think it was a problem now, after, the diagnosis, then I realized that there were some things that I definitely could do better because like I said, time, blindness is still, it's a huge problem for me, really.

Especially when we're seeing patients. I don't know whether you you've experienced that before, when you're seeing patients and you're really into what it is you're trying to do for this patient, then time disappears. Because you're intent on what you're doing. So I've had to have a walk around to where my staff will send me a flash.

Through the computer. It's still me. Hey, you've got to get a move on. And that kind of helps snap me out of it. I put clocks in the room, so lock them in areas where I can actually see the clock so I can pay attention to, you know, like, but sometimes that doesn't doesn't work so that my backup work around was to then have my staff send me a text during the visits, telling you that you have 2 in the waiting room, or you have one waiting it's time to wrap up that kind of thing. And so that's how I've had to navigate that.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yes. Everything that you just said, I could have said, I also have the time blindness and I got diagnosed during my first year of med school.

And. It was funny. Cause like my husband, I guess he just kind of knew and he's not medical, he's an engineer, computer engineer. So anytime I gave him a time and he's like, okay, let me add an hour or let me add an hour and a half. And I'll be like, no, what are you talking about? I'll see you in an hour and a half.

And so it was funny because like my family, we had to give them like for graduation and for wedding invitations, like for my side of the family, with like an hour, earlier than the event so that everybody could show up. And then his side of the family, like it was normal time. Right. And so it's just funny how we don't realize that we do hyperfocus usually on the things that we really enjoy. Like, you probably love talking to your patients, but whether it's five minutes or 45 minutes, like to us, time is fluid. And so we don't realize it's been that long. And then I don't know about you, but then all of a sudden, like you said, you're on to the next patient and you don't want to slow down enough to write the note because you just did an amazing interview with that patient. And you're like, feel bad that you're rushing to the next one. Right. And so it's like you're here, there, and, not any everywhere. And yeah, so I ended up also like having some workarounds, meaning like I would tell my nurses to come like knock on the door and like try to help me out.

But then when I finally started like getting an ADHD coach for myself, like they told me. Just set a timer. And I know it sounded silly, but I didn't have that external cue. So setting the timer made a big difference because then they would either knock on the door or come and ask me, is there anything you need, which was helpful because then I could be like, oh, this person needs a vaccine or this person needs a UA or whatever.

And so it, and it was my cue to wrap it up. But yeah, otherwise like sometimes when I forget to put the timer on vibrate or on instead of just silent then. They have to come in. Cause they're like, oh my God, like, we didn't realize you forgot to put the buzzers. So they were waiting. They're all conditioned to hear the timer and then come knock, you know?

And so, yeah, it's, it's interesting. I've been using the timer almost for two years and even randomly when I would forget it, it's not like you would think two years you're conditioned. You're not like you just don't have that.

Dr. Grace Esan: I think. Yeah. The time blindness is, it really is a thing. And the hyper-focus, it really is a thing.

Cause I don't know about you, but I love, I think if I was not a physician, I might have been a policeman or policewoman because I love, I love the puzzles. Oh, we've got this and this and this is over here. Let's see if we can put it all together. Okay. So when, if I'm in that zone doing just that, then that kind of just disappears.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah. And usually like what you were saying, the things that you think is going to take an hour and it really takes five minutes of the things that are boring because our brain has like decided that's too much or too painful or too boring. So you should like try to avoid it like a playground.

Yeah. So do you think like your diagnosis impacts like you and your family or those around you? Like, have they ever told you oh my God, like you're interrupting me or have they ever tried to do the time thing? Like my husband does to me, like, try to make the time, like gives you extra plenty of time so that you could make places or stuff like that.

Dr. Grace Esan: I really, really, really, really do my best. To, not to schedule things around times that I need to go someplace because I'm very conscious of the fact that it's different if it's just me, but it's frustrating to my kids because they want to be, they want to get to school at the right time. And I think the worst feeling as a mom is to know that your child has tardies because of you.

It's totally different if the child was tardy because they were doing something else though, when it's because of you. I mean, you just have that. It's just bad. It's bad. Exactly. So I, I try not to schedule anything of interest, anything that is really interesting, at that time. And then the other thing I do, especially in the mornings, because the mornings are usually.

When, we have to like, you know, be on time. So I, I do everything as a routine in the morning. You get up, you brush your teeth, you take a shower, put your clothes on, and then you head out. I do not look at my phone, looking at my phone. It's a huge distraction. So let's not look at the phone. It's just head on out.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah, that is so important. What you're pointing out, you know, we all want to be a creature of habits. Habits, right? That's human nature, but we also have to be aware that there are certain things that can derail us. And like you just found the hack there, like to get you out the door, you have to do XYZ. And you know, that the pinpoint could be, we get on Facebook or tick-tock or Instagram or email or whatever.

Like sometimes I try to look at the labs before I go in and I'm like, I'm just going to call them on my way, because I'm going to get distracted by, you know, by a callback or something else. And before, you know, it you're like, oh my God, the kids are late. Like you said. Yeah.

Dr. Grace Esan: So I, I try not to do anything else. Just focus, get the kids to school. And then, everything else, I can do.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: And then everything flows. So, I mean, we've been talking about some of the things that, you know, can be sometimes a little bit more challenging with ADHD, but of course we all have amazing traits also with ADHD that make us who we are and have helped us to become who we become.

What do you think are some of those traits that you feel that might've been helpful and responsible for you succeeding and becoming the physician that you are.

Dr. Grace Esan: Okay. So the upside of having ADHD is, that we're very creative. We're creative, we're impulsive. Impulsivity is not always bad. Impulsivity can be actually. quite really, really cool because that impulsive, reach out to touch somebody when, you know, just instinctively touching a person and calling that person down or making that person feel better. That's impulsive. Oh my gosh, absolutely amazing today. You know, that just comes out of nowhere, makes that of a person's day. Having a problem. Something just crops up and everybody's like, oh my God. Oh my God, am I going to, I'll do this? Like, what's the big deal. Okay. So that happened. All right. You just, you do this, you do that. And the other person does this and it's really not a big deal. You know, the ability to kind of just like. I think because we're always late.

Maybe that maybe that's why

 So your dress ripped. Okay. It's not a big deal. You know what? Come with me. We'll find some tellers to facilitate. We'll turn the dress inside, out, tape it back, tape it out, and then you can go finish up what you're doing. And then we can get rid of the dress, you know, the creativity and the spontaneity. I think is a huge gift. My kids never know what might be coming. I might turn around and look at them and say, you know what? Let's go get ice cream. Oh yeah. Or. Let's go away for the weekend, you know, without necessarily planning for it. And those, those kinds of things I actually think are priceless.

And so I think the creativity, the impulsivity, the ability to think outside the box, I think the plus is actually I whole lot more than the negatives. If, if I was to be asked about.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah. That's so important because anytime we talk about ADHD and of course, this is why I'm doing this podcast to show that it can be a beautiful gift.

If you just pay attention and realize. How to unwrap it, right? Because with everything comes responsibility. And like you said, because we can think on our feet and because time is fluid for us, I feel like you said we are don't make it mean anything. If we have to try, A B, C, D until we kind of get to the solution.

And I think, like you said, we're not really judgemental with other people because sometimes we have to try different things and really not trying anything it's the fastest way to get stuck. Right. But if we're at least trying something, we know we're walking towards the solution. I think that's a, such an important trait because that allows you to be present with your patient right there.

And then you're not, you know, a thousand miles away you're right there. And then, and you're fluid with the situation and you're able to prioritize. If something else needs to take priority, you are able to jump onto that.

Dr. Grace Esan: To make a quick pivot.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah. So what do you feel like you spend most of your time doing and you wish maybe you would do a little bit less though.

Dr. Grace Esan: Are you talking about professionally or...

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: However you want to answer

Dr. Grace Esan: Professionally? I spend a lot of time, you know, working, doing documentation. I really hate that. That's my nemesis. That's right. Actually skill is documentation. I'm not a big fan of documentation. And it seems like going from when I was in medical school to where we are now, it seems like I spend more time documenting stuff because we're collecting data.

And as far as I'm concerned, I really don't, you know, I'd rather just see the patients are. Yeah, I know the data is helpful, but I wish I didn't have to be the person to have to collect all that data. So documentation. Now at home, what would I, what would I say that I wish. For whatever reason is that I would say to actually just sit still,

for whatever reason, I'm constantly moving. Well, I know why I'm constantly moving constantly moving. I'm constantly on the move. I gotta do this. I gotta do this. I got to do this, but yeah. Seems actually just sit still.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yes. I totally relate to what I would want to do less of. And it's like, Less documentation as possible. And, I've tried to get the whole system and my clinic because I'm the medical director. So I'm like, if they can do it for me, they can do it for everybody else. So that it looks the same. So we, we get like the nurses to start the note so that they can, we know why they're coming. Of course they tell you one thing and then they tell them another.

So sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't right, but at least the note has started. And then I've gotten away from writing paragraphs to like more like, bullet and try to get the HPI

Dr. Grace Esan: 'cause I do bullets too. I'm like, I do not do paragraphs. I want to be able to just look at it and know what it was. I did the last I don't the paragraphs. I do bullets. Here for this, and this and that...

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yes. And then I tried to get that HPI to like mimic my assessment and plan. So that next time I see them, like, I can take the assessment and plan and plop it into the HPI if we're following something or whatever. And I try not to like put a lot of stuff. I just tried to put like diabetes dash on control dash, no changes done because A1C was a 10th patient noncompliant with meds, period. Like I'm not going to like, you know, and sometimes, you know, I give myself the five minutes between walking into the next patient to at least do my assessment and plan. And I try to give myself like so many nuggets to where I'll put like right foot cellulitis, X size. Dada allergic to antibiotic penicillin, given backdrop, like, so that later on, when I go do my note, I know it was the right versus the left foot.

Like I know more stuff to fill in the things that it's easier and doesn't take as much executive functioning thinking, right. Because I don't know how your EMR is, but mine, I would have to go into one area to see what meds I order another area to see labs or another area to see like problem list. So it would just take too much to try to construct what I had, what had happened that day. Right. And the 15 to 20 patients a day, like out of sight, out of mind. Right. So it was hard sometimes.

Dr. Grace Esan: Right, right. That is, that is very true. I'm going to ask you a question though. I'm going to ask why, why did you actually get evaluated for ADHD inmed school?

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: So it was actually my roommate at that time, as she told me, she said, Diana, I think there's something wrong with you.

And I was like, why? She's like, I see you studying like 80 to a hundred hours. And I think I'm maybe studying like half that, if that she's like, I don't know if you're over studying to where you're so exhausted and you're not retaining the amount of information she's like, or maybe you're anxious or depressed.

My dad had just gotten diagnosed with cancer at that point. And so she's like, I don't know if that is keeping you from like, kind of being all in or whatever is going on. She's like, I think you need to go see somebody again in my mind. I didn't think it was a problem. That's what I've used to always do.

Like, I was always the last one to finish a test. I was always the last, I was always the one who even when they're pulling away the test, I'm like, hold on, let me just do C all the way down. Like in the last five or 10 that I didn't finish. Right. And so I didn't think that was a problem. I knew that whatever, my test scores were not super high to get into med school. And I was even put like on a probational program, like to get into med school, like they selected at the like 20 or 30 of us. And they said, you have to do the six week course before you start med school to make sure blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And so in my mind, I was used to working hard. I would outwork anybody if you gave me the opportunity to go into med school. Right. And so I didn't think it was a problem, but to her, she said, I think there's something going on because the amount of information, the amount of time you're doing it, I don't see you retaining it.

So that's how that happened. I ended up getting tested and sure enough, I had this time blindness, because again, I didn't even know it was a hundred hours. Like we get so focused into things that I thought it was like, you know, five hours or something. Right. So I didn't realize that was a problem. And I think now I understand that I didn't really have that much of a problem in high school because I was running like 10 miles a day, like with my cross country team and I was dancing and I was active. So I was getting all that dopamine. I was getting it from there. And then I get. College in my first year, like I almost like I was put on probation and I was like, oh my God, I'm like, I'm a straight A student. Like, how am I on probation? This doesn't make any sense. But now looking back, it makes sense because I didn't run anymore. Right. I was just sitting there, studying and I couldn't prioritize, it was a different style of testing the way that they were doing it from where I came from. And so I remember getting a C in chemistry and going to talk to the professor and they're like, and I was like, well, how did I get a C I've never got an, a C in my life.

And he's like, oh, this is average. I was like, I'm not an average student. And so it was just that realization that. I didn't realize I had gotten away with my grades because I would talk to people about it and I never had to prioritize like the whole book. Like to me, everything in the book was a priority.

So I couldn't tell what was more important than others. So then, but later on I realized, oh, I I'm more visual. So if I went to look at the pictures, then I could understand it. And then it was a lot easier than if I just ran into trying to read the book. And so when you were saying earlier about reading a book, I was like, oh my God, I haven't read a book in a while, but I've been listening to the audio.

So that's the work around the audible.

Dr. Grace Esan: Yeah I do audibles, all the time.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: So somebody else is reading it here for you. And then if you really want to, then you have the opportunity to go buy the Kindle or to, you know, because I already know that if I buy them, they're just going to be sitting on the shelf. I'm not going to open.

Dr. Grace Esan: The thing also is, with the articles, then I can still be puttering around.

And I guess I just have. , I don't know what it is unfortunately, or I am doing, but I just kind of constantly have to be touching something or doing something. So at least I am listening. I have the airport in my, in my ears and, and then I'm moving around. Like I said, I don't know what it is I'm moving around doing, but..

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: No, but I mean, that makes sense because that also increases your dopamine.

I didn't realize that, that's how I got through med school. Like I will listen to the audio recordings and I was walking in. Two or three miles. And that's how the information would like sink in. Or if you were doing a task, like I hate doing the dishes, you know, doing the dishes or laundry or something that I'm not like, not so thrilled to do think when you pair it to something that you are enjoying, then it's like easier for you to retain, but because you are being active, it kind of gets, you know, more, more connections in your brain to step.

Dr. Grace Esan: That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I'm more auditory. I retain things that I.

And some visual, but like med school was mostly what I heard. I could not write notes to save my life because I couldn't, I couldn't focus on, on processing what was being said and writing at the same time. It was not, that was not a thing I could not do that. So my work around for that was to know the people with the really good handwrites and on good notes and to spend all my pocket money..

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Hey, like that's the thing, right? Like one quickly learns how to help yourself if you know that that was not the thing. Like I knew, like I had to get a tutor. So that way, when we were talking, I could hear what they thought was important. Everything's important. And how do you want me to tell you? So you could only, I'm pretty sure.

I don't know if you have this problem, but you know, our notes at the beginning are always like a book. You're like, what? like they told me all this thing, how am I supposed to know? That's not important.

Dr. Grace Esan: Exactly.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: But you know, now you can laugh about it, but then it was like, life or death in your mind

Dr. Grace Esan: because you didn't know where.. It's overwhelming.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yeah. It's really funny. Like, you know, now, like I said, now you look back and you're like, oh, the irony of it, you know, I remember my first clinical rotation was actually family medicine and I did not pass that shelf exam. I was like, oh my God. And that's what I went into.... and I'm board certified now. Right. But it's just funny that you were supposed to have so much knowledge to do family medicine. Like you supposed to have known a little bit of surgery, a little bit of OB GYN, a little bit of like pediatrics, you have to know a little bit of everything. And that was my very first one.

So. Well, of course I didn't pass it. Like, how's that going to pass it? If I'm like brand new off the books and all of a sudden, like I have to do this test. Right. But then later on, of course, as you went through the rest of the rotations, you come back and you retake it and it was, it was fine, but it's just tells you how sometimes your experiences don't match up with the book.

So it is what it is. You just don't have to make it mean anything. And unfortunately, as we go through school, we're so used to validating ourselves through some like test scores.

Dr. Grace Esan: That's that's the only, I mean, there's no other instrument by which to measure, just how well we're doing re that's all we've got. And so based on that, because I don't know about other ADHD'ers, but I did not believe that most ADHD 'ers actually test as well as the intellect is.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Right. Exactly.

Dr. Grace Esan: So because they have all this other things, and then you also have the fact that, you know, some people also have dyslexia in addition to the ADHD and have dysgraphia and you know, all the things too.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yes, exactly. So what do you think are your next goals for the next year?

Dr. Grace Esan: Next year . So this year is kind of, the beginning of a different chapter in my life because I am going to be an empty-nester this year. Both my kids are off to college. And so now I have all this time on my hands.

Now, the fact that I have all this time on my hand, um, I want to be, I want to make sure that I don't just use it for just, you know, just filling it with nonsense things that don't make sense. I want to actually make an impact or do something that is meaningful. And for me, what is meaningful is there's this ADHD journey that, I found myself being passionate about.

Being passionate about having children be diagnosed at an early, earlier age than middle school. Because like I tell the parents, I think the biggest thing for me is not really the academic performance, it's the hidden insults, emotional and social insults that's afflicted upon these kids because they can't remember stuff.

So they think that, they are constantly moving. So they think that they're troublesome. People are constantly redirecting them. So they think they're not liked or love because they're rough and they have no idea what boundaries are. Other kids will avoid them, so they don't get hurt. So they just think that nobody likes them.

And I think that it's not, I think that's horrible to have to grow up thinking that you're a problem you're lazy or you're a troublemaker. Nobody likes you. And it's only because you have this disorder that can be treated that makes you constantly move, makes you inattentive to visual cues, makes it inattentive to things going on around you makes you such that.

You're not performing well in class. So, that's my big thing. My weak thing is that. And then the other thing that's I have also found out in my practice is that there are women, there are lots of moms that actually get diagnosed in my office when I'm diagnosing their kids. So that's the other thing.

So my big thing for this next year is to actually, I've already whichever. I set up a business or sell. I say, it's not a practice because I'm not practicing medicine there. But what I want to do is I want to be able to give a voice to a woman, a lady, a gentleman, A child who's not being diagnosed and does not know how to get to the next level.

Does not know how to articulate what it is they're going through so that their doctors are able to help them. Because I read online where in all these places and chat rooms, Where you have all this ladies who have all the symptoms and the doctors are like adults don't have ADHD. ADHD is only something for a child.

So to where, if you come to me, I can help. I can help; A - evaluate you. And B - We give you, somewhat of a portfolio that you can take back to your physician, telling your physician, that based on all these symptoms. Yes. You meet the criteria for having ADHD or ADD, and then have that discussion with you before you go to your doctor about what your options are.

And therefore, when you go to your doctor, you can have an informed conversation with your doctor about what it is that is going on with you and how you want to navigate your ADHD diagnosis. So that's what I'm working on currently. I have a website, thrivewithdrgrace.Com. And then my emails thrivewithdrgrace@gmail.com, and then I have an Instagram handle, which is @thrivewithdrgrace.com, so if you want to go check it out, you can check it out. But that's what I'm working on. That's what I've been working on for the last few months. That's really, really my passion, because like I said it's crazy going through life and not even realizing that your life could actually be a whole lot better than what it is.

If only you knew what your diagnosis was and if only you're able to, to navigate your diagnosis. So that's what I got.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Yes. That's such an important reminder that sometimes we forget about the females, like you said, this is an ADHD diagnosis that is hereditary, right. And a lot of females don't get diagnosed until their kid gets diagnosed or until they go to med school or law school or some college or they get promoted or they hit menopause. Right? And so. Probably because unfortunately, sometimes the females are the quiet ones in the room, so they're not causing too much ruckus. They're just kind of daydreaming. And there's not a lot of studies that have been made on females again, because " " there's too many hormones going on and they don't want to deal with that situation. Right? But I think it's finally changing. And what you're doing is so needed, 'cause like you said, you don't know what you don't know. And if you're not aware that you've been working like two times or three times or 10 times harder than somebody else, you're not aware that you're driving, you know, without your glasses, then it's kind of hard for you to do it any other way.

But being aware of what to say or how to advocate for yourself and what to expect. You know, that's the first step, right? Because unfortunately, if you do get the diagnosis medications, while they're going to help, they're not going to help everybody. And then there's also that emotional component to it. And all these other systems where coaching can be so helpful or a therapist or both, right?

Or in the addition of other stuff like, you know, exercise and meditation and journaling and all kinds of stuff. Right?

Dr. Grace Esan: All kinds of things. Yes. And I think also the other thing is if, you know, if you understand the reason why you're a certain way, then it explains a lot of things that then makes you know that you're not going crazy.

It doesn't become an excuse for you that not trying to figure out work around for yourself might help you understand the fact that you know what, I'm actually not a lazy person. I'm actually not, you know, I might be a procrastinator, but there's a reason why I'm the way I am.

And that's not an excuse. Cause I know what I need to do is figure out ways around the reason why I'm always late. Maybe I need to come up with a routine or the reason why I get that, like I just discussed our time blindness we've kind of figured out how to get it. We'll get the nurse to come knock on the door or I'll get the text message on my computer telling me it's it's time to move on, but you have to come up with workarounds, but if you don't even know that that's a thing you're just going to continue. You're going to beat yourself up. Like, I will tell you that I used to sit and wonder why it's, why it was that, my contemporary's to get all their work done much faster than I could. And I was walking as fast as I could. But what I didn't realize was that I was very inattentive. So even though I thought I was walking really fast, the truth is I'm working on this, but my, my mind is, is doing this. It's thinking about. All the things that thinking about what would happen if abstract things, lots of abstract stuff going on in my head while I am supposed to be doing this one task.

And so, you know, it just helps, it helps you in that. Oh, that's a reason for that. Okay. I get it. And so I don't feel so bad about it. I don't feel like I'm incompetent. I don't feel like I'm inept. I just know that I'm inattentive and therefore I need to figure out how to get my attention to focus.

Like you said, exercise helps, yoga helps,, meditation helps. Medication helps, like you said, not everybody needs medication, but there are some people who do. And so. Yes.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: That's so important, everything that you just shared, like the more that we understand ourselves and approach it from a curiosity point of view and understanding and being self-compassionate because all our life. We probably felt frustrated or irritated that we couldn't perform to the level that we wanted to. Right? And it's like a catch 22 because you're like, well, I want to lose weight. But then all of a sudden you're eating all these sugar when you're trying to complete a task. And you're like, I don't understand myself, I just have this goal, but then you don't realize that you're using that sugar as dopamine to get you to complete the tasks you have to do.

Right. But what are you doing? Meanwhile, you're like beating yourself up and telling yourself, like I'm broken, I'm dumb. I can't even do this. I can't stay on task. You know? But your body's going to ask for what it needs, you know, and for some people, unfortunately, it's, you know, alcohol smoking drugs and it can get us into all kinds of trouble. Right? If we're not aware, right. If we're not aware again. And so yes, it's really having this conversations to figure out, is there something else that might be going on other than me just thinking X, Y, and Z, because unfortunately, we're so busy that we don't slow down enough to ask. Is there a better way or is there a different way sometimes, right?

Dr. Grace Esan: That is very, very true. We don't, I mean, we just, we just go and it's not just us. It's everybody. We just would just go on and go and go. It's really difficult if you, if you're just going, going through all the motions and. Yeah, like this has done the wheels pedaling really, really, really, really hard, but not getting anywhere fast because.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: So my two kiddos are jumping on. They're trying to be part of this podcast as well. Anything else you would like to share with us before we let you go?

Dr. Grace Esan: No, I think, just to re-emphasize the fact that or that, I'm all about helping people thrive with their ADHD diagnosis from the very beginning, which is I'll help evaluate you and tell you, all right, here's, here's what I think I actually will set up a one hour consultation where I will consult with you and tell you, you know, Tell me all your, all the symptoms. And I'll tell you whether I think it's ADD and then I'll put together something for you to take to your doctor and also discuss with you what your options are.

Because like we just, we just went through all the options. Now there is medication there's therapy. There are alternatives is yoga. There's meditation, hen. There's wanting for those people who can ride, you know, that will all, all things that are guaranteed to increase the amount of dopamine release that your brain needs in other to be able to be focused. So.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Well, thank you so much for coming, Dr. Grace Esan, it's been a pleasure to have you here. So like you heard her follow her on Instagram. Her handle is @thrivewithDrgrace or go to her website, thrivewithDrgrace.com and definitely reach out to her as you heard, both of us are here, sharing our story so that hopefully if you or somebody you know, is struggling and, you know, feels like maybe they're not fully realized they need to figure it out.

And don't be afraid to get a second or third opinion because unfortunately like Dr. Grace was saying earlier, you know, sometimes, people are easy to dismiss you because unfortunately, they don't realize how hard you're working, because maybe you're thriving in some other areas of your life, because like she just said, your emotional intelligence is not a marker of your ADHD.

Like you can be an amazing professional and it doesn't mean that. You know, you don't have ADHD, so definitely reach out. And, that way, either of us could help you, but, thank you again for your time,

Dr. Grace Esan: Thank you very very much for having me on thank you so much.

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: As someone who understands that time is our most valuable asset. I am so honored that you have shared your time with me. Please click the subscribe button and join my Facebook group: Beyond ADHD, A Physician's Perspective so that you never missed an opportunity to create time at will. Do share this podcast with your friends they too can can learn to live life and stay in their own lane.

 

About Dr. Grace Esan:

Dr. Esan is a Pediatrician in Evansville, Indiana.

She is Nigerian American who grew up in Lagos, Nigeria where she received her medical degree from the College of Medicine, University of Lagos.

She completed her Pediatrics residency training at the Bronx Lebanon Hospital Center in the Bronx, New York City.

She is board certified in Pediatrics. She specializes in the treatment of infants, children and adolescents at all stages of their growth and development, with an emphasis on ADHD,
Anxiety/depression and Oppositional defiant disorder.

She has been in medical practice for over 20 years. Dr Esan is happily married and is the mother of 2 beautiful children and her pet Chihuahua.

Website: thrivewithdrgrace.com/

Email: Thrivewithdrgrace@gmail.com

Instagram: @Thrivewithdrgrace