Own Your Win, Boost Your Self- Confidence

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Hello, hello. Welcome to Beyond ADHD, a Physician's Perspective. I am Dr. Dean Meow Mage. I'm a family medicine physician practicing in rural Texas. I used to be hindered by my. Adhd, but I now see it as a gift that helps me show up as the person I was always meant to be, both in my work and in my personal life.

In the past two years, I've come to realize, That I'm learning. Some of my beliefs and some of my habits were just as important as learning the new set of skills.

Well, hello, hello, hello. I'm so excited to be here with you today day. It's been a day. It's been a wonderful day today. I have met so many people here at the chat conference. and I just feel like my heart is full and. You know, one of the topics that kept coming up was about self-confidence. And, you know, somebody came up to me after, um, Dr.

Lola Day and Dr. NAA Bauer, and I gave our, our, uh, our speech today. Uh, during lunch we talked about how our programs. Bridging the gap where medicine is not able to, uh, we're talking about how skills. are gonna be taught and implemented, and that pills unfortunately do not teach you those skills. But of course they can definitely help so that you can get closer to what you want to accomplish and, and, you know,

People came up to us and told us that they felt like our talk was authentic and vulnerable, and that they felt the connection. And it's so important to realize that our stories. Really do impact how we perceive the world and how we see the world. And you know, somebody told me, oh my God, you made that look so easy.

And I own that compliment. You know, some, some of us don't want to own what our son of genius are, and I'm glad it looks easy, but sometimes we all know. Something looks easy because we practiced it a thousand times, right? . And so why do I say this? Well, because when we are doing something that we enjoy and we love that emotion can come through and sometimes you know that confidence comes through because.

You are aligned with what you feel like your purpose is. And I had so many wonderful conversations today, throughout the day, and you know, my intention for this conference was obviously to come share my ideas, but also to learn from other people and to learn from their stories and from their perspective.

And what I shared with them today was that, you know, three years ago, I would've never had said this out loud to other people that I had ADHD because of the mental stigma that I was associated with it. But now I say that, you know, adhd, it's kind of like the diabetes of, of psychiatry. Like you really have to.

Use all the tools in order for us to help us navigate this. Like you have to realize that yoga, that meditation, that, you know, sometimes paying attention to your God flora, , and, um, exercise, um, low carb diet. All that can be helpful in managing adhd. Of course, our sleep is so important, but I'm bringing this up because we don't realize that many times what we tell ourselves or how we talk to ourselves can really influence how we perceive ourselves.

We all have that innate need and want to be loved and accepted. Of course we do. And sometimes we misinterpret that our self worth, you know, is gonna always be measured with how productive we are. But the thing is, like if you go back to the essence of us as kids, um, we weren't like, We weren't in our heads when we were, you know, just born and people had to feed us and had to change our diaper.

Diverse. And, you know, as we were learning to walk, we weren't like judging ourselves for like stumbling and falling right? Like we were. So, you know, we kept going. And obviously when we had somebody there that was praising us and telling us to keep going, that was motivating. And so we had this conversation today.

talking about how praise can really motivate us to keep working and can improve our self confidence. And you know, before the age of 13, most of us with ADHD will have heard 20 to 40,000 messages compared to somebody without ADHD telling us We're not good enough. We're not fast enough, we're not tall up, we're not, we're too loud, we're too, you name it.

Right? And, and it's so important to realize that our confidence. Or lack of self-confidence sometimes can be shaped by those people around us, and a way for us to improve this confidence is to again, go back to what are so new geniuses For me, I really feel like it's speaking. It's really in speaking that I can portray a feeling and emotion and when somebody understands what they're good at and they're aligned with it.

That confidence just kind of radiates and lights you up. It, it helps you to keep going, right? It doesn't feel like work. It feels like play, and so criticism can really break us down or can really. Turn us off, and I'm not saying this, so that all of a sudden you can tell your husband or your wife or your, you know, your boss, stop judging me, right?

But so that you realize that when people give us feedback, listen to them, but you don't have to take everything that they're telling you. Ask yourself what part of that might be true or not. and do I value the person who's giving me this advice or not? You know, let them be wrong about you. If whatever advice they're giving you does not fit or correlate with you, it's okay.

You don't have to take their advice. We need to be able to praise ourselves for the wins that we. Because when we own those wins as little or as big as they are, then we don't wait to get to the final destination before we start actually feeling happy.

It means that you get to enjoy the whole journey along the. Because of somebody wise told me, once you are at the top of the mountain, you get to enjoy the happiness and the joy that you brought with you. If you didn't have it with you all along, you really can't enjoy it. And so I'm saying all this because self confidence is something.

That can really be practice, and you practice it by doing, like, by stepping in and being okay with a messy first draft and having choices and deciding whether whatever you're currently doing is worth your time or not. Are you enjoying it? Why or why not? And I really mean that. Like ask yourself, are you enjoying that relationship?

Why or why not? Are you enjoying that job? Why or why not? If we're not having these type of conversations, you're gonna one day wake up and think, what's the point? Because you weren't asking yourself all along if you were. In the right track. So when things come up, when you see something that is happening,

being willing to hold space, be willing to have conversations with those around you

and don't equate.

Failure

as being unsuccessful. You know, failure, I've learned it's the first attempt at learning. I. So go after your big dreams. Stop playing small. The world needs your zone of genius. This is literally how we function today. I've met so many wonderful people at the chat conference. People who are authors, people who are speakers, people who are of course physicians, people who are therapists, people who are doing all kinds.

in, uh, intuitive, um, biofeedback. I mean, we all need each other. I always say teamwork makes the dream work. So if you would like to join me in my course, come check it out. Come see what I'm about. Come join the non-judgemental community. Where you can learn all those tricks and hacks and techniques to leave work at work and practice medicine and live life on your own terms.

Please bring me any suggestions on what topics you would like me to talk about. Uh, send me an email. Go to my website life coach.com and tell me what you want me to talk about. I would be more than glad to talk about it and come join my course. There's gonna be a Black Friday special, so definitely be on the lookout for that and get yourself on my waiting list for January.

You wanna definitely purchase my course if you're thinking about doing it in January before then, because, um, the price will be going up after January 1st. You know, Christmas is around the corner. You need to invest in you today. I can't wait to support you in your journey. If you know anybody who. Would like to talk to me, spend in my way.

Thank you for spending your time with me. I really believe that time is your most valuable asset. Please subscribe to the podcast, share with your colleagues. And don't forget to check out my website@coach.com where you can find out about my upcoming coaching group classes, as well as free master classes and other exciting events that are.