What would your 90 year old, Wiser self, tell you?

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Hello, hello. Welcome to Beyond ADHD, a Physician's Perspective. I am Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh. I'm a family medicine physician practicing in rural Texas. I used to be hindered by my adhd, but I now see it as a gift that helps me show up as a person. I was always meant to be both in my. And in my personal life in the past two years, I've come to realize that unlearning some of my beliefs and some of my habits were just as important, learning the new.

Hello, I so excited to be here with you today. So, um, I had a couple of interesting weeks. I went to Costa Rica, um, to celebrate my 11 year anniversary. Um, and actually we went for honeymoon, uh, to Costa Rica as well. So we decided it was probably time to go right now that we have. Little break from Covid and you know, I was like, we just need to go before, um, there's a new pandemic, like Monkeypox or something.

Right. And I booked the trip like maybe a month before we went. And you know, that's just so adhd, right? We're kind of impulsive sometimes, but sometimes those are the best decisions that we can make. Like life is too short. You gotta make sure that. You are living in alignment with what you think is important to you.

And so I wanted to talk about this week about how ADHD can be your superpower. How you don't let things kind of slow you down or get you in the way, even though life throws you some core balls. So, uh, I was hiking, um, All sudden I hear clunk. We were climbing the, uh, Ariana Volcano and I looked behind me and half of the hiking book booted had fallen off.

And my tour guide asked me the Laas, which means, are you gonna keep going? Are you. Play for it, or are you are like, are you out? Are you done basically for the trip? Right? And so that question

kind of like woke something in me. Um, it, it was such a quick question, right? It, it's funny how one question can change everything.

Can be taken in many different ways. It can be taken like, are you all in? Are you ready to play? Right? And so maybe some people would've said, Well, oh, I just have one boot. Like I can't keep going. Right? But the bottom of the soul still had something, The other part just fell off. And so, you know what I, I told them, See , which means like, yeah.

I'm gonna roll with it, see what happens. And so what happened was that I kept walking and 200 meters later, flunk here, the other part of the group fall off. And maybe some people would've thought, this is the worst thing ever. Right? But to me, like I couldn't help but laugh. Like I found myself in a situation that was so typical for me.

It just seems. First thing happened to me. For some people it might be paralyzing, but for me it would. I didn't make it mean a thing. Um, the thought were going through my mind where, you know, my ancestors probably climb the same volcano, their foot it. I'm sure I'll be okay. So our thoughts really make a difference on how we show up with the world.

Like maybe some person could have thought like, Oh my God, this is horrible. This is the end of the world. Um, but to me, I just kept thinking, this is another day, like not a big deal. And I just kept going. You know, I finished the rest of the hike. I think it was another 40. And I just kept telling myself, Hey, the universe just wants to a foot massage.

Interesting. On previous, like LA Rocks, right? And it just, it just tells you that sometimes life just happens. Right? And so at the end of the, of the excursion, I asked the tour guide. Hey, um, has this ever happened for you before? Like have people lost the whole bottom of their shoes before and he said, No, this is the first time this has happened in the last 15 years.

And you know, I was actually there with my friend Christina and her husband on this trip and. We were just laughing because my husband's like typical of Vienna, like some first time always happens, right? And so I remember when we went, um, it was prior to kids, we went to, um, a place in Australia and I think it was called Canes or something like that.

And it's supposed to be like the place to go and jump in. And scuba dive. My husband already had the scuba dive like certificate. I went through the course right there and then, um, and when it was my turn to actually apply what I had learned and go down, uh, I couldn't do it. Well, my brain was just telling me that it was gonna be one too many directions for me to follow.

I was panicking. I just could not see myself going underwater with like this oxygen. And it's so funny because like how many times do we do different things that you know, are not so scary for other people, but. Still do 'em right? But our brain is always trying to protect us in one way or another. And so yeah, I asked that same instructor how many people had like come all the way out here and they not go down.

And he said, Not many . And you know, when I was trying to, uh, learn how to ski, uh, down the mount in Denver, you know, I was doing a. Learning activity and I was one of maybe the only one who went down the slide, meaning I slid down the mountain like in the parking lot, like in the opposite end of where I shouldn't be going down the to be training.

So things just happened to me and you know, the. The instructors like, um, I think Deanna needs like one on one sessions. She does not need a group. She needs her own private instructor. And guess what? The next day I paid for my own private instructor and I, I got a little bit, I got the gist of it. You know, I learned to do some like, You know, but when I was going through the motions, the guy's like, Okay, you need to get off the, the, the cliff, like you need to get off.

And I was like, mm-hmm. I just stayed out there. And he got off and he's like, Oh my God, what is this lady doing? Right? And so it's just funny how sometimes her brain tried to, to protect us or we try to avoid the things that are getting, get us in trouble, or we still do it despite, So what am I talking about all this?

Because you know, today I am at a conference where it's, um, I'm part of a group that is a retreat where they teach you how to level up or how to, um, Practice medicine in your own terms and how to serve and how to earn and how to create legacy for yourself. Right. And we were given a cupcake that said happy 90th birthday, and we're looking around the room because you know, it's all physicians in there and nobody is close to nighty in that room.

Right. And it was an exercise. It was an exercise that said, um, what would people say at your 90th birthday? Like, what would they say about you? Right. And I'm pretty sure most of us had done this type of exercise, like if you were at your funeral, like what would people say about you? But you know, the 90 birth, 90 year old birthday celebration seemed like a more happier place because you're still kinda alive, right?

So, I describe my birthday as probably taking place on one of those cruises, you know, where you're six months out and. And it's perfect scenario because you have a Dr. Ward who's taking care of you, somebody's cleaning your room, right? You're getting off on all this different ports all around the world and you're being fed like amazing food.

And there's probably activities, I'm pretty sure they're probably make us go to sleep kind of early, but that's okay. Like. I would rather be on a six month floating a cruise all around the world than be somewhere like on a nursing home or something. Right? Why am I saying this? Because we don't know how many years we have left to live, right?

It could be one, it could be. 10, it could be 40. We have no idea. And so you need to decide what kind of life you wanna have in order to start working towards it. And in my, and she gave us like, Different categories for us to decide, like what would they say about us? Like what would family say about you?

What would like, um, you know, what would you have accomplished? And all those things. Right? And so to me, what came to mind was that, They, it is something that people tell me all the time, If we don't know you any better, we would think you're taking something because you have so much energy, you do all kinds of things.

You're the healer to everybody. You like to listen. Um, and then you, you like to disrupt shit, but it's not working. and you know, I really think that I came into this world. To share my story and to hear other people's stories and to find the amazingness in it and to collaborate together to make that happen.

So today I was listening to, um, to somebody say that it's okay to. sometimes not do the things that you think you want it because sometimes better things come your way and it's just so interesting how. what we think might be, you know, something hard, might be something not that hard because something better is coming your way.

Why am I sharing all this? Well, I guess I'm in an inspiration type of scenario. You know, I'm looking, we're in October. We really we're starting the last quarter, how you say it, right, the last 90 days of this year. And I'm wondering whether you have met all the goals that you wanted this year. Right. And last year when I came to this retreat, we had a similar, um, You know, projecting forward saying that writing out the date, like, you know, December 3rd or December whatever, 2022, like what would you have met?

What would you have accomplished? And I looked at my journal of what I wrote last year, what I wanted, and I wanted to have a long term nanny and a housekeeper. I still don't have those two things. Um, but I wanted to also have, um, date night with my hubby once a week and that is actually working. So, and I wanted to have more quality time and that is also working.

And, um, in terms of like my personal development that I wanted to do, it was starting a podcast or YouTube channel, which I am doing that. And in terms of fun, I wanted to have dances and I wanted to learn, um, How to do like a, like Suma or samba. Um, I already know Zumba, but I wanted to do samba, right? And so I, one my amazing position friends is, uh, actually teaching me to do that.

So, yes, um, I also wanted to schedule my massages and I am doing that and I wanted to paint more with my. And I am doing that too. And in terms of my business, I wanted to make an impact. Like I wanted to earn, um, at least a thousand dollars, right? Uh, sorry, a hundred thousand dollars. And yeah, I'm doing that too.

And so why am I sharing this? Why am I saying all of this? Well, you need to write stuff down that you want. If you don't write it down. You were not focused on it. The universe is not gonna match your vibration. You need to figure out whether what you're currently doing is important or not. And the systems that got you here, are they gonna take you there?

And you need to realize that in order for us to grow as a person, You need to have a network, You need to be in a community where people are growing themselves, and that takes sometimes investment in money, sometimes investment in time, that maybe takes a commitment to saying no to things that are maybe draining you and you need to have this talk with your yourself.

Like what would your wiser self tell you like. If you make a baby decision, like those baby decisions add up, like they can really be the difference between who you marry or who you don't, whether you are healthy in terms of exercising or not, whether you move to one place or another, whether you start your own business or whether you write a book or.

Go on a limb and go on vacation, you know, and plan in one month out. You get to decide what type of impact you want to have in the world. And so choosing you is important. You have the last 90 days. If you feel like maybe you need some help in getting you to where you're going and you don't know where to start, reach out.

I'm here, come to my group. You know, if you're a healthcare professional, I can totally get you there. Whether it's going home by three o'clock, whether it is, um, Coming to my retreat in Costa Rica, whatever it is, reach out if you have some, you know, um, opportunity where you want me to come and speak to your residents or come and speak to your, um, society or, or network event or whatever, like, let me know.

So this is where I'm at today. I am in the reflection mode. I am in the, what is my goal next year? What am I dreaming up? What am I gonna do the last 90 days? And how do I continue to prioritize and plan for myself, right? And for others. And, uh, realizing. Yeah, at the baby steps they add up and it's in that repetition that our habits become, um, you know, become our life.

So do decide that you're the most important person in the room that. Refilling your cup is important and that you are one unique you. There's nobody like you and that's amazing. And we want to, um, share any of your stories. If you know somebody who you think I should interview that could highlight. Um, any of our adhd, um, qualities, please let the, let them know.

Please bring 'em over. We all need to help each other thrive. Thank you for spending your time with me. I really believe that time is your most valuable asset. Please subscribe to the podcast, share with your colleagues, and don't forget to check out my website at ADHD live. coach.com where you can find out about my upcoming coaching group classes, as well as free master classes and other exciting events that are happening.